In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
