I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize