Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
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