I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
