What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
