Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
