Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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