Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
