you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
