Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
