i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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