I am puke
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize