my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We had sex on a dog bed..
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
