I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
