and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
