Ambien. No doubt about it.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
