shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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