I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
