lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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