No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
