THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
