it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
