Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You're like the curious george of whores
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
