Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
