i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I am puke
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
