Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
