You just made me feel so damn special
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Drunk is a universal language darling
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
