if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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