you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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