A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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