Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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