can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
