If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
