He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
