i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
where are my eyebrows?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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