So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize