i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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