Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
