Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
well I can't set my house on fire every night
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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