I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
