I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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