I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
it's like iHOP with fire
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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