i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
