I'm really into asian looking animals
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The air was thick with penises
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
