The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
