We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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