he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
