i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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