awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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