yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize