I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Michael Bay diarrhea
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
