she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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