Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
