im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
