I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
