Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
