Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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