Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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