We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
