He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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