Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
