I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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