Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
