So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
