Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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