I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
