I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
