In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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