Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
