i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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